Screwed Up Essay T-Shirt

I uncorked some wine and sat down at the typewriter and turned on the radio and smoked cigars and typed.

I sat down, corkscrewed the bottle open and poured a drink, then I telephoned my girlfriend. " "I know," I said, "but you weren't here." 40 minutes later I was at the racetrack as they were coming out for the 5th race.

"it's too late for the races but I got the locks fixed." "I could have done it," she said.

I got the screwdriver and went to work but the lock parts became scrambled.

I tried to put the lock back in, checking for the slot for the latch tongue and then I found that I had lost one of the 3 screws necessary to fasten the lock back together again.

the only view was the back of a Chevron gas station. I asked him if he might tell me a little bit about reinstalling locks. it doesn't matter which part you stick in here, either end will do." I asked him if either end would do then why did one end have a nodule on it while the other end was flat?

I looked at it for quite a while then I walked over to my car and looked at it for a while and then I lit a cigarette and walked back. "that's a good question," he said, "now this part, these two prongs slip in here, you hold it together against the front of the lock and tighten the 3 screws.

I turned on all the lights but it was dark down on the floor so I turned on the front porch light but I still couldn't find the screw so I walked naked to the garage and looked in the glove compartment of the car and got the flashlight out and came back up on the porch, got down on my knees and flicked it on and it died after about ten seconds.

I gathered all the lock parts together and put them in a little pile, then I closed the door and turned out all the lights.

I moved into a new place and decided to change the locks.

I phoned the nearest locksmith and he told me I needn't change the locks, he could make new keys.

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