But when parents feel it’s their responsibility to get their kids to achieve, they now something from their children—they need them to do their homework and be a success.
I believe this need puts you in a powerless position as a parent because your child doesn’t have to give you what you want.
The battle about homework actually becomes a battle over control.
Your child starts fighting to have more control over the choices in his life, while you feel that your job as a parent is to be in control of things.
Your blood pressure on the rise is a no-win for everyone.
Take five or ten minutes to calm down, and let your child do the same if you feel a storm brewing. Here are a few possibilities that I’ve found to be effective with families: When you start over-focusing on your child’s work, pause and think about your own goals.What are your life goals and what “homework” do you need to get done in order to achieve those goals?Model your own persistence and perseverance to your child.Show honest concern and try not to show disappointment.The expectation is that homework is done to the best of your child’s ability.But what you can do is to set limits, respect their individual choices, and help motivate them to motivate themselves.You might be thinking to yourself, “You don’t know my child.” Remember, as long as you carry their concerns, they don’t have to.The way you can stop fighting with your kids over homework every night is to stop fighting with them tonight. Choose some different steps or decide not to dance at all.I recommend that within the parameters you set around schoolwork, your child is free to make his own choices. Otherwise, you won’t be helping him with his responsibilities.If you take too much control over the situation, it will backfire on you by turning into a power struggle.